Apparently, there’s a “new” “revolutionary” parenting method that is rockin’ the Web these days. Affectionately known as CTFD (Calm the F*** Down), it apparently stemmed from the idea that parents these days are much too competitive when it comes to their children and need to learn to CTFD when they realize that *gasp* their child isn’t doing something that another child of the same age is doing. Because, apparently, every parent’s child needs to be more advanced than the other parent’s child.
By the way, my 8 month old is already doing algebra whilst standing on one hand. What is your 8 month old doing? 😛
Anyways, I thought I’d try my hand at this and list some more REVOLUTIONARY parenting methods because, you know, I’m an overachiever and want to push the envelope even further than the inventor of CTFD and give parents an arsenal of methods to use. I’m even going to leave out cuss words because, y’know, we wouldn’t want our children to develop bad habits, now would we?
Mommy Training Wheel’s Ultimate Guide To Stress-Free Parenting
- 1. JSAN (Just Smile and Nod)
- Like when the lady at Walmart decides to harass you and make you feel like you’re a bad father for bringing your son into the store without any socks on. (Happened to my partner the other day!)
- 2. LTYH (Listen to Your Heart)
- Pretty self-explanatory.
- 3. DWWFY (Do What Works For You)
- You want to nurse? Great! Choosing formula? Awesome! Half and half? Super! Exclusive pumping? Stellar! Co-Sleeping? Sure thing! Baby in his own room? Sounds good! Rock/nurse to sleep? Excellent! Put down awake? Cool! Cloth diapering? Disposables? BLW? Cereal and purées? Babywearing? … If it works for you, GO FOR IT!
- 4. SYAI (Say “Yes” and Ignore)
- Like when you MIL insists that she is going to be able to spoon feed her grandson when he’s never been spoon fed before.
- 5. TYG (Trust Your Gut)
- You know that something’s not right with you little one, but the pediatrician won’t listen? Insist, insist, insist!
- 6. TADB (Take A Deep Breath)
- Feel like you’re going to lose it? Take a deep breath?
- 7. PBDAR (Put Baby Down and Regroup)
- Baby still screaming no matter what you do? Took a deep breath but still feel like you’re going to lose it? Put your banshee-like baby down in a safe area and go outside so you can’t hear him/her anymore for a few moments.
- 8. DLMO (Don’t Linger, Move On)
Did you screw something up? Perhaps you yelled at your kid in a fit of sleep-deprived-last-nerve-trampled-splitting-headache rage? Learn from it and move on.
So, what method do you live by? Do you have anything to add to the list?