Posted in Parenting

Reality Check (This Should be Fun)

It occurred to me recently that there are a few differences between my pre-baby conceptions of life and my post-baby reality of life.  I thought it would be fun to write them out here for everyone to laugh at see.

I’m going to become pregnant really easily like my mom.

Yeah…no!  It took my partner and I 18 months and countless ovulation tests before I got pregnant with Charles.  Though, to be fair, becoming pregnant with Amélie and Elliot was as simple as:

  1. Stop breastfeeding and condoms
  2. Have one cycle
  3. Bam!

I’m going to have quick and med-free labours just like my mom.

Apparently, I didn’t learn anything when my first conception flew out the window.  I had an 18 hour labour with my first complete with my waters breaking in bed at 3am, having pitocin administered at 8am, begging for an epidural by 1pm, actually getting it around 3pm and finally pushing the little bugger out after 45 minutes at 6:36pm.

Amélie’s birth went by more quickly shaving off 10 hours from my previous labour.  Though I still did get an epidural.

As for Elliot’s birth (I’m working on a post for it), well, that one was quick.  Though, I did still ask for an epidural.

I’m not going to bed-share with my babies.

Well, to be fair, I didn’t bed-share with Charles.  Amélie, on the other hand, I slept with on the first night we came home from the hospital and a few others after that, especially during night-long feedings during growth-spurts.  As for Elliot, well, I bed-shared with him at the hospital and then a few more times at home after that.

I’m not going to yell at my kids.

Hahaha, ha, HA!  Yeah, have you ever had a 3 year old?

But seriously, I do try to not yell, but sometimes my bag of tools gets depleted.

I’m going to nurse until he’s 6 months old and then stop once his first tooth comes in.

What I failed to realize in this instance was that teeth can cut before the 6 month mark.  And of course, Charles’ did.  At 5 months, to be exact.  The good thing is that since I really wanted to reach the 6 month mark, I kept nursing him and quickly got over the fear I had of nursing a toothed baby.  This led me to nurse both Charles and Amélie all the way up to their first birthday.  I plan to do the same with Elliot!

I’m never going to buy a minivan.  Instead, I’m going to be a cool mom and have a SUV to accommodate my growing family.

img_2834
Meet the (very dirty) “mom-mobile” aka, my fourth child.  I seriously love this thing.

I’m going to be very by-the-book.

Though I am very by-the-book (and a little over-the-top, according to some) with regards to car seat safety, I also have to consider the following with regards to the introduction of solids:

  • I chose BLW over purees;
  • I didn’t follow the 3-day rule;
  • I didn’t follow the suggested order of food introduction;
  • I even *gasp* introduced potentially allergenic food like peanut butter, eggs and salmon before the recommended ages.

However, all of these decisions were reached after doing a whole lot of research.

My kids aren’t going to get any screen time before the age of 2…

p1010247
I guess the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” is appropriate here.

…And they’re not going to play with tablets either.

No, of course not [insert ironic tone].

I should note, though, that we have drastically reduced the time our little ones spend with tablets because Charles, in particular, would become very grumpy and irritable whenever we would allow him even a bit of time in front of a tablet.

Charles is going to start rolling over/crawling/walking/talking very quickly.

Because, duh, he’s my firstborn child so of course he’s going to be perfect!

For the record, he rolled from front to back at 5 months, from back to front at 7 months, he crawled at 10 months, walked at 12 months and at 18 months could only say “mama” and “water”.

I am going to cherish every moment.

And, to quote Katherine over at Welcome to the Nursery: “unicorns [will be] literally prancing around […] with me”.

Because, seriously, as much as I cherish motherhood in general, I can’t say I much cherish being peed on, or vomited on, or bitten, or kicked, or, or, or…

I hope you guys had fun reading these!  Feel free to laugh with me and then share some of your own!

Author:

Thirty-something year old discovering the joys and bumps of motherhood.

12 thoughts on “Reality Check (This Should be Fun)

  1. Ahahahah great post. We all have this idea in our head that we are going to do things a certain way and then life happens and nope! I loved this post because it’s preparation. I’m not a mother but I need to prepare for the fact that I won’t do the kind of perfect parenting that lives in my dreams.

    1. Thanks! Yeah, we all start out with expectations and then, wham, we end up having to adjust them a bit. But, you know, when it comes down to it, you’ll let go of some minor things. The things that are truly important to you will stay.

  2. Love this post!!!! Yeah, I’m still waiting for my unicorns to appear, also…. I have a few posts about the subject of “parenting misconceptions,” as I call it (and tag it). If I had a buck (a loonie!) for everything I said I wouldn’t do but now do, oh man would I be rich! But now I’m a firm believer in just making things work and adjusting as I go – because everything seemed easier before the kids came!
    PS Thanks for the shoutout!

    1. You’re welcome; I love your blog!

      And yes, I think most parents would be rich if they had a buck every time they ended up doing something they swore they wouldn’t do. But that pretty much defines parenthood, doesn’t it: expect the unexpected and be prepared to adapt.

      I will definitely be taking a look at your own parenting misconception posts 😉

  3. It’s funny to look back on how we planned to parent vs. the reality of actually having to parent! My oldest son was talking in clear sentences by the time he was 10 months old and didn’t walk until he was nearly 14 months old. He could but liked crawling better. The younger son started rolling over so early I thought my husband was messing with me and walked long before I wanted him that mobile. He started talking “on schedule” but had very little to say. He’s still that way.
    I decided early on that parenting books are great fire-starters.

    1. I remember with my first having a (ok, a few) panicky moments when looking at milestone charts. When I realized he was learning the different skills at his own pace, I just stopped looking at them. I agree, great fire-starters!

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