It occurred to me recently that there are a few differences between my pre-baby conceptions of life and my post-baby reality of life. I thought it would be fun to write them out here for everyone to
laugh at see.
I’m going to become pregnant really easily like my mom.
Yeah…no! It took my partner and I 18 months and countless ovulation tests before I got pregnant with Charles. Though, to be fair, becoming pregnant with Amélie and Elliot was as simple as:
- Stop breastfeeding and condoms
- Have one cycle
I’m going to have quick and med-free labours just like my mom.
Apparently, I didn’t learn anything when my first conception flew out the window. I had an 18 hour labour with my first complete with my waters breaking in bed at 3am, having pitocin administered at 8am, begging for an epidural by 1pm, actually getting it around 3pm and finally pushing the little bugger out after 45 minutes at 6:36pm.
Amélie’s birth went by more quickly shaving off 10 hours from my previous labour. Though I still did get an epidural.
As for Elliot’s birth (I’m working on a post for it), well, that one was quick. Though, I did still ask for an epidural.
I’m not going to bed-share with my babies.
Well, to be fair, I didn’t bed-share with Charles. Amélie, on the other hand, I slept with on the first night we came home from the hospital and a few others after that, especially during night-long feedings during growth-spurts. As for Elliot, well, I bed-shared with him at the hospital and then a few more times at home after that.
I’m not going to yell at my kids.
Hahaha, ha, HA! Yeah, have you ever had a 3 year old?
But seriously, I do try to not yell, but sometimes my bag of tools gets depleted.
I’m going to nurse until he’s 6 months old and then stop once his first tooth comes in.
What I failed to realize in this instance was that teeth can cut before the 6 month mark. And of course, Charles’ did. At 5 months, to be exact. The good thing is that since I really wanted to reach the 6 month mark, I kept nursing him and quickly got over the fear I had of nursing a toothed baby. This led me to nurse both Charles and Amélie all the way up to their first birthday. I plan to do the same with Elliot!
I’m never going to buy a minivan. Instead, I’m going to be a cool mom and have a SUV to accommodate my growing family.
I’m going to be very by-the-book.
Though I am very by-the-book (and a little over-the-top, according to some) with regards to car seat safety, I also have to consider the following with regards to the introduction of solids:
- I chose BLW over purees;
- I didn’t follow the 3-day rule;
- I didn’t follow the suggested order of food introduction;
- I even *gasp* introduced potentially allergenic food like peanut butter, eggs and salmon before the recommended ages.
However, all of these decisions were reached after doing a whole lot of research.
My kids aren’t going to get any screen time before the age of 2…
…And they’re not going to play with tablets either.
No, of course not [insert ironic tone].
I should note, though, that we have drastically reduced the time our little ones spend with tablets because Charles, in particular, would become very grumpy and irritable whenever we would allow him even a bit of time in front of a tablet.
Charles is going to start rolling over/crawling/walking/talking very quickly.
Because, duh, he’s my firstborn child so of course he’s going to be perfect!
For the record, he rolled from front to back at 5 months, from back to front at 7 months, he crawled at 10 months, walked at 12 months and at 18 months could only say “mama” and “water”.
I am going to cherish every moment.
And, to quote Katherine over at Welcome to the Nursery: “unicorns [will be] literally prancing around […] with me”.
Because, seriously, as much as I cherish motherhood in general, I can’t say I much cherish being peed on, or vomited on, or bitten, or kicked, or, or, or…
I hope you guys had fun reading these! Feel free to laugh with me and then share some of your own!