Posted in Ten Thought Tuesday

Ten Thought Tuesday: The Walking Edition

TTT

  1. The little guy spent his whole weekend with a permanent smile on his face…as he walked away.  Not that he’d walk for the camera…
  2. My drive to work this morning was absolutely beautiful.  I have a half-hour drive to work and most of it is on a road in the middle of fields.  There was a thick (read very thick) fog and because of the snow-covered fields on either side of the road, it felt like I was driving through the clouds in a fantasy land.
  3. Communication is an odd thing.  Between what you want to say, what you actually said, what you think you said, what your interlocutor heard and what s/he interpreted there is sometimes a world of difference.
  4. I would like to give something to my son’s sitter for Christmas because I’m am so happy with her in-home daycare and how happy my son is there, but I’m am at a loss as to what to give her as I don’t know her very well yet.  Any ideas?
  5. I’m currently doing a Masters-level course on effective education practices and it’s is really interesting.  I’ll probably be writing about it in more detail soonish.
  6. In less than a week, my son will have completely switched to formula.  I can’t put my finger on how I feel about this probably because I’m feeling waaaaay too many emotions at once LOL.
  7. My cluster for my dash is broken.  This means that my speedometer, my RPM meter and my gas meter aren’t working.  Soooo, I need to rely on the sound of my motor in relation to the position of my shifter (thank goodness I drive stick!) to determine my speed and my odometer to determine when I need to put gas in my car.  My mechanic told me he’d have time to fix it after the holidays…
  8. I’m really trying to figure out how I want to organize my professional life this year.  I already know that I don’t want to be teaching in a classroom and that I love teaching resource, but right now, I’m working part-time in one school, doing one evening of tutoring, another evening and half of Saturday teaching resource in a private clinic and tomorrow, I’m meeting with human resources at a private school because they’re looking for someone who can teach resource about 10 hours a week to grade 11 and 12 students!
  9. This weekend, I am making a dairy-free carob cake to celebrate my son’s birthday at my parents’.  I just need to find a recipe base I can modify 😀
  10. Started watching Dexter (I’ve only watched one episode so far) I’m not sure how I feel about it.  It’s weird yet interesting, disturbing yet refreshingly different.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Posted in Parenting

Communication Breakdown

You know, when I learned I was pregnant I was so happy.  Coming from a family of three in which I was the eldest (my little sister is seven years younger than me and my brother ten years younger), I always knew I wanted children of my own.

Intellectually, I knew that it would be hard.  I knew that it would change my world completely and irrevocably in an instant.  I knew that I would be getting a lot less sleep, that I would have to juggle with well-intentioned suggestions from the people around me, that my life would revolve around the needs of the new life I created.

I also knew that I would be getting a lot of support, from my boyfriend – the wonderful man with whom I had this child, from my family and from my friends.  Trust me, you know all these things intellectually, but you don’t actually know them until they actually happen.

Now, you might be wondering what all this has to do with communication.  No worries, I’m getting there.

The single hardest thing that I have been dealing with ever since my son was born isn’t the lack of sleep, or the seemingly incessant visits.  It’s not the sometimes sore breasts, or the fact that I can’t just decide on a whim to go anywhere.  It’s not even the subtle and not-so-subtle pearls of wisdom that some of the people around me seem intent on bestowing upon me.  No, the hardest part in all this is not being able to tell, with a decent amount of accuracy why my son is crying, or cranky, looks like he is in pain or not sleeping (even when I know that he IS sleepy).

I mean, it is absolutely heart-wrenching not being able to cater to your child’s every need as soon as they appear because you, as a mother, can’t read the cues.  I don’t think I can even quantify the number of forums and websites I’ve been on during or between feedings in the past two weeks.  I’ve been observing my son, trying to figure him out, but each time I think I’ve found out what makes him tick, he throws a curve ball at me, it seems.

That being said, I know I am a good mother.  I follow my instincts, I do everything I can for my child.  I sometimes feel like crying when I look at him just because I am overcome with the feeling of love that I have towards him.  But boy is it hard sometimes, when nothing I do seems to work.