Posted in Parenting

Reality Check (This Should be Fun)

It occurred to me recently that there are a few differences between my pre-baby conceptions of life and my post-baby reality of life.  I thought it would be fun to write them out here for everyone to laugh at see.

I’m going to become pregnant really easily like my mom.

Yeah…no!  It took my partner and I 18 months and countless ovulation tests before I got pregnant with Charles.  Though, to be fair, becoming pregnant with Amélie and Elliot was as simple as:

  1. Stop breastfeeding and condoms
  2. Have one cycle
  3. Bam!

I’m going to have quick and med-free labours just like my mom.

Apparently, I didn’t learn anything when my first conception flew out the window.  I had an 18 hour labour with my first complete with my waters breaking in bed at 3am, having pitocin administered at 8am, begging for an epidural by 1pm, actually getting it around 3pm and finally pushing the little bugger out after 45 minutes at 6:36pm.

Amélie’s birth went by more quickly shaving off 10 hours from my previous labour.  Though I still did get an epidural.

As for Elliot’s birth (I’m working on a post for it), well, that one was quick.  Though, I did still ask for an epidural.

I’m not going to bed-share with my babies.

Well, to be fair, I didn’t bed-share with Charles.  Amélie, on the other hand, I slept with on the first night we came home from the hospital and a few others after that, especially during night-long feedings during growth-spurts.  As for Elliot, well, I bed-shared with him at the hospital and then a few more times at home after that.

I’m not going to yell at my kids.

Hahaha, ha, HA!  Yeah, have you ever had a 3 year old?

But seriously, I do try to not yell, but sometimes my bag of tools gets depleted.

I’m going to nurse until he’s 6 months old and then stop once his first tooth comes in.

What I failed to realize in this instance was that teeth can cut before the 6 month mark.  And of course, Charles’ did.  At 5 months, to be exact.  The good thing is that since I really wanted to reach the 6 month mark, I kept nursing him and quickly got over the fear I had of nursing a toothed baby.  This led me to nurse both Charles and Amélie all the way up to their first birthday.  I plan to do the same with Elliot!

I’m never going to buy a minivan.  Instead, I’m going to be a cool mom and have a SUV to accommodate my growing family.

img_2834
Meet the (very dirty) “mom-mobile” aka, my fourth child.  I seriously love this thing.

I’m going to be very by-the-book.

Though I am very by-the-book (and a little over-the-top, according to some) with regards to car seat safety, I also have to consider the following with regards to the introduction of solids:

  • I chose BLW over purees;
  • I didn’t follow the 3-day rule;
  • I didn’t follow the suggested order of food introduction;
  • I even *gasp* introduced potentially allergenic food like peanut butter, eggs and salmon before the recommended ages.

However, all of these decisions were reached after doing a whole lot of research.

My kids aren’t going to get any screen time before the age of 2…

p1010247
I guess the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” is appropriate here.

…And they’re not going to play with tablets either.

No, of course not [insert ironic tone].

I should note, though, that we have drastically reduced the time our little ones spend with tablets because Charles, in particular, would become very grumpy and irritable whenever we would allow him even a bit of time in front of a tablet.

Charles is going to start rolling over/crawling/walking/talking very quickly.

Because, duh, he’s my firstborn child so of course he’s going to be perfect!

For the record, he rolled from front to back at 5 months, from back to front at 7 months, he crawled at 10 months, walked at 12 months and at 18 months could only say “mama” and “water”.

I am going to cherish every moment.

And, to quote Katherine over at Welcome to the Nursery: “unicorns [will be] literally prancing around […] with me”.

Because, seriously, as much as I cherish motherhood in general, I can’t say I much cherish being peed on, or vomited on, or bitten, or kicked, or, or, or…

I hope you guys had fun reading these!  Feel free to laugh with me and then share some of your own!

Posted in Parenting

The Existential Questions of Parenthood

So, I’ve been doing this parenting thing for a little over four years now and I’ve got a few unanswered questions.  Perhaps one of you more experienced parents could help me answer them.  Or, do you have your own to add to the list?

  1. Why does the baby always wake up as soon as I’m on the verge of falling asleep?
  2. Why does the toddler insist on eating everything with her hands except stuff that should actually be eaten with one’s hands?
  3. Why does the baby always wait to be put in a fresh diaper before pooping?
  4. While I’m at it, why does the baby always have to spit up all over his and my freshly cleaned clothes?
  5. Why do the kids always want to listen to the same song/watch the same movie/read the same book over and over and over and over…again?  (For the record, the song of the moment is “Let it go”.
  6. Why are the kids always ready to leave in record time when I’ve got time to spare, but take forever to get dressed when I’m in a hurry to leave?
  7. Why does the toddler have to put on her underwear, pants and shirt the wrong way around every single day?  (Mind you, I’m not complaining, she gets dressed by herself).
  8. Why does a sudden urge to pee always happen when we are at the farthest possible distance to a toilet?
  9. Why is it that on the one night the baby decides to sleep well, the toddler or 4 year old have to wake up screaming or crying?
  10. Why does the washroom have to become the new communal area (oh, don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here pooping.  Sure, why don’t you come sit on me with your story!)?

    No words can describe how much I love the little buggers.

Posted in Parenting

Crazy Morning

Most mornings are a varying degree of crazy.  Some a relatively sane.  Some are a balance of sane and crazy.  Some are like this morning.

Amélie is back in diapers since yesterday evening.  I decided I was tired (both literally and figuratively) of not sleeping on account of being worried about how much longer she’d hold in her pee.  So besides running after her to try to change her so-full-it-was-seeping diaper, after breakfast, I also had to run after her to get her dressed and then get her coat and shoes on.

Charles, on the other hand, was constantly changing between his “I’m a big boy” mode, his “I’m an insufferable tattletale” mode and his “I want to control everything” mode.  Whew!

Then, Elliot was starting to become tired (who wouldn’t be with all the screaming and running around that was happening) and started to communicate that fact to me (by crying, of course).

So here I was, standing in the entrance of the house.  Charles was telling me that his sister stunk.  I was realizing that she stunk.  She was yelling because her brother was saying that she was stinking.  Charles was telling me that Elliot was crying.  Amélie was insisting (very loudly) that there was no poop in her diaper.  Elliot was pursuing his attempts at communicating his annoyance at the fact that he was tired and strapped in his car seat and hot and still not sleeping.

Then the doorbell rings.

I answer and this dude from one of the cable companies around here is standing there talking on the phone.

Me: Hi

Him: [continuing his conversation]

Me (insisting): What can I do for you?

Him: [telling the other person on the phone to wait a bit] You called.

Me: Uh, nope, I didn’t (I know this for a fact because we don’t do business with this company on account of the fact that all of its employees seem to be blessed with the idiocy gene).

Him: But isn’t your address [leans back to see the door number] 126 street name?

Me: Yes, it is, but I didn’t call you.

Him: Oh!  There are a lot of kids here (guess he finally noticed the commotion behind me).

Me: There are three.

Him: Do you run a daycare?

Me: No, they’re all mine, BUT I was on my was to daycare.

Him: But you called.

Me: (Holy crap, is this guy dense?) No, I did not.  Perhaps you should recheck the door number or the street name.

Him: [taking the phone away from his ear to look at it] Oh.  I’m supposed to go to 116 street name.

Me: [slams the door in his face before turning around to take care of the kiddo’s diaper]

Posted in Random thoughts

Dear [Insert Name] – Short Letters From A Frustrated Sleep-Deprived Mama

Dear SUV-driving stranger that parked beside my car yesterday morning,

I know that sometimes it is hard to find a parking spot.  Trust me, I do.  For instance, yesterday morning, I had to park on the outer edge of the parking lot and walk a good 5 minutes with my heavy 6 month old in her bucket seat and tantrum-prone toddler instead of right beside the medical clinic because, well, there were no more parking spots right next to the clinic.  So you see, I totally understand that when you find a spot, you take it.  However, it would be nice in the future, if you could just park a liiiiiiiiitle further away from my car because, quite frankly, it was hard as heck getting my toddler into his seat in the minimal space that was left once I opened my car door.  It was also hard as heck getting enough of my arms inside of the car to manage to buckle him up.  I also wanted you to know, dear driver, that I made sure to keep my fingers between my car door and yours just to make sure that you very lovely SUV didn’t get dented.  I cannot, however, guarantee that I will be able to safeguard the bump-free surface of your vehicle when my kids are old enough to open their doors all by themselves.

Sincerely,

The mama who had two kids to juggle and a tiny space to juggle them in

***

Dear Yahoo,

a couple of nights ago, after battling it out with my infant daughter to get her to fall back asleep for over an hour and a half, I decided to hang out in my living room with my iPad to pass the time as I waited for her to wake up for the umpteenth time in a minimal time frame.  To be quite frank, I was past the zombie-tired stage and was wondering how I was even still standing (truth be told, I was sitting, but hey, what difference does it make?).  As I was looking through the photos of my kids on my iPad and deciding which ones I would upload to my Google+ page, I noticed that there was an icon that allowed me to upload them directly to a Flickr account.  I thought it was the best idea ever so I prepared myself to create a Yahoo address to get the job done.  I was stoked until I saw that I had to insert a mobile phone number that would be used in case I forgot my password (emphasis on had to).  Let me tell you, dear Yahoo, that I do not own a cell phone.  I’m sure there are others that live in the Stone Age that choose not to have one like me.  You probably don’t care that I won’t be a Flickr user, but I wanted to let you know that I will be staying with Google+.

Sincerely,

The mama who doesn’t own, want or need a cell phone (and who can remember her passwords like a big girl all on her own *gasp*)

***

Dear pediatrician,

I know that you care for the well-being of the kids that come through your office.  Really, I do.  I also know that you are swamped in paperwork, an ever-rising workload and are likely feeling more and more unappreciated by parents who are frustrated with the healthcare system.  However, it would be nice (like really nice) if you could update your knowledge of introduction of solids just a liiiiiitle bit.  I was, to be honest, a bit disheartened when, upon mentioning that we were doing baby-led weaning with Amélie, that you had absolutely no idea what I was talking about (it was apparent when you concluded that it meant I was doing veggies and fruits with my baby girl).  I was equally disheartened when you ignored the fact that my daughter was exclusively breastfed for 6 months before any solid food got into her mouth (instead of getting rice cereal as early as 3 months as seems to be the custom here) while looking at her curve and telling me that I had to give her iron-fortified cereal and veggie purees twice a day because she had dropped (barely) under her growth curve.  Perhaps, even, if you don’t have time to read the new research that is starting to show that the only foods that are off limits until the age of one are fresh milk, egg whites and honey, you could at least keep an open mind when I tell you about the variety of foods that my daughter has had (including cooked egg yolks, avocado and toast strips).

Sincerely,

the mama who has successfully raised a two year old who is an awesome eater and is attempting to do the same with her 6 month old daughter

***

Dear itsy bitsy spider,

I’m so sorry that, upon reading a story to my toddler that included a dog who was afraid of a spider, I giggled like crazy and concluded with my son that the doggy was silly to be afraid of spider.  I’m sorry that, I told him how unscary spiders were because they were so much smaller than us humans.  When I saw you this morning, squashed between the nimble fingers of my triumphant toddler (“look mama, a spider!!!!!!”) I was very sad that my desire for my son to remain unafraid of your kind resulted in your death.  I promise that the next lesson will be that we must be gentle with spiders.  May you rest in peace.

Sincerely,

the mama who didn’t want her toddler to be afraid of spiders

Posted in Parenting

Top 7 Signs of Potty Training Readiness (+ 5 More!).

Signs of Potty Training Readiness”

Type in those five words in Google, and you’re sure to get about 105,000 hits in about as long as it takes you to hit the “enter” button on your keyboard.

hits
See what I mean? ^^^

The amount of information out there is actually overwhelming.  There are articles, checklists, quizzes – all there to help you determine whether your toddler is ready to ditch the diapers.  Luckily for you, I did all the legwork.  After compiling the information contained in the top ten sites, I have a list of 7 potty training readiness signs.  Each of these 7 signs have come up on at least eight of the ten sites I visited.

7 signs

1.  His bowel movements are well-formed and pretty regular.

Check

2.  She can stay dry for 2h periods (and may even be dry upon waking from her nap).

Check

3.  He is able to get undressed/dressed (or at least pull down/up his pants) with little to no help.

Partially – He can get his pants off if I pull them down past his bulky cloth diaper, the same goes with pulling back up.

4.  She dislikes being in a wet or dirty diaper.

Nope – He could stay in his soiled diaper all day and he wouldn’t give a crap (pun intended).

5.  He is interested in the washroom habits of family members and likes to come and watch.

Check – besides the fact that bathroom attendance is one of his favourite activities, he also likes to give a play-by-play of what’s going on.

6.  She clearly shows she is having a bowel movement.  This can be a verbal indication (“I’m going poopoo!”) or a non-verbal (hiding, squatting) one.

Nope

7.  He can follow simple instructions.

Checkbut he sometimes chooses not to.

So where does that leave us?  He absolutely nails three of the signs.  He completely flunks two.  And the last two allow for an ambiguous interpretation.

Luckily for you, I’ve got a checklist of another 5 signs of readiness!

Ready?

1.  You’re tired of playing catch-the-streaking-toddler, avoid-the-pissed-off-toddler’s-kicks and try-not-to-become-deaf-from-your-toddler’s-Banshee-like-screams during every single diaper change.

2.  You don’t have any carpet in your house & know how to use a Swiffer.

3.  You’ve read numerous blog posts/articles on different potty training methods.

4.  You’re not above the use of bribery and you have the mini-marshmallows to prove it.

P1010247
These little guys are the most important part of my potty training efforts.

5.  You (and your significant other) have got at least a full week coming up to devote to potty training because of Christmas hollidays.

We’re starting on December 20th, by the way.  Feel free to check out the “Potty Training Chronicles” page that should be coming up in the next few days to laugh with me (or at me), cry with me and send your own stories.

Posted in Newborn, Parenting

Confused

Dear Amélie,

I know that you have spent the better part of your existence inside the womb and that the outside can be confusing, so allow me to give you a few pointers on how things work out here.

  • When I swaddle you, it’s not for you to attempt Houdini-like escapes only to get pissed off when you’re unsuccessful (which, admittedly, doesn’t happen very often).  In fact, it’s to help contain your Moro reflex so that you (and I) can sleep.
  • Speaking of sleep, being rocked isn’t supposed to be an overstimulating activity that keeps you awake and a brightly lit living room with a toddler screaming (from joy or anger) and running around isn’t supposed to be conductive to sleep (though I’m certainly not going to complain that you manage to fall asleep in that environment).
  • Nursing time isn’t supposed to be guzzle-down-my-milk-ASAP-and-then-proceed-to-spit-up-and-have-the-hiccups-for-15-minutes.
  • When I put you up against my shoulder, it isn’t an invitation to work out you neck muscles.  It’s to burp you so that we might skip the spitting up part of your nursing routine.
  • Alternatively, the whole point of putting you on your tummy after diaper changes is 
  • By the way, you are allowed to poop in a wet diaper.  Seriously, you really don’t have to wait until the moment where I have just finished swaddling you after changing your diaper to poop.
  • I don’t mind that you prefer to sleep on your side or tummy and am happy to indulge your preferences during your daytime naps because I can keep an eye on you, but during the night, I would really, really like it if you could stay on your back.

There, I hope that clears up a few things for you.

Love you to bits,

Mama

Posted in Pregnancy

13 Signs That You’re Very Pregnant (Besides the Big Belly)

P1000541

1.  Your hormones are so out of whack that you are crying like a baby during the last part of the final race in Cars.

2.  Your toddler eats more than you do at mealtimes.

3.  Turning from your left side to your right side in the middle of the night is so complex that it should become an Olympic discipline.

4.  Doing the dishes has become synonymous with “backache”.

5.  Washing the tub has become synonymous with “impossible”.

6.  You’ve been sitting on your exercise ball so much lately that you’re mildly afraid that it’s going to pop.

7.  You’re antsy and borderline irritable because you haven’t eaten sushi in months!

8.  You have to go to the washroom and pee before you laugh.

9.  Your toddler is thrilled that he can use you as a rock climbing wall.

10.  You waddle like a penguin instead of walk like a human.

11.  Two kids ask you if you have a big belly of if you’re just hiding a ball under your shirt.

12.  The innie that you’ve had for so long is striving to become an outie.

13.  Your nursery is done, hospital bags ready, birth plan printed out and infant seat already in the car 😀

Posted in Parenting

OMG Ones!

So, I trust that by now, you’ve all heard about the terrible twos and threes, probably even about the f***ing fours.  I’m willing to bet, though, that no one’s ever told you about the OMG ones.

That’s because I just coined the expression.

Just now.

No but seriously… Oh.  Em. Gee.  (*Shudder*, I hate seeing it spelled out like that.)

Focus Sophie, focus.

Ok so, let me start from the start.

You see, my very adorable son is, quite frankly a pretty easygoing little dude.  I mean, besides the fact that he’s been teething for the better half of his life (which, for the record is not cool), he’s cuddly, smiles easily, can play on his own for long periods of time and is a champion pooper.  Wait, ignore that last one, pooping most definitely does not have anything to do with him being easygoing.

But!

For some reason, over the past month or so, the little guy has his (rather predictable) moments where he gets pissy.

Let me make my point by citing a few examples.

#1.  The “I like to be covered in urine” situation

Yesterday morning, Little Dude woke up at 6am screaming.  Seeing as the last times I’ve gotten out of the bed in a rush to see what was wrong I found myself waking up a sleeping baby (seriously, who screams in their sleep?), I decided to try to catch a few more minutes of Zzzzzs before extracting myself from my bed.  About 20 minutes later, I got up and went to see my happily chattering son in his room.

When I picked him up, I immediately realized that he was wet.  I mean, not a little wet.  His pyjamas, sleeping sack, comforter and fitted sheet are soaking wet…with urine…that was also on me.  My first thought was “oh s***, that’s probably why he woke up screaming”.  It was quickly followed by “I should probably change him, it mustn’t be very fun to be covered in urine”.

And so, I started stripping off the items of clothing that were clinging to him and throwing them in the hamper.  Then, I put him down on his changing table.

Holy crap!  He was pissed (no pun intended).  He looked at me with his why-are-you-doing-this-to-me-woman look and screamed and screamed and screamed as I took off his dry diaper (yes, the diaper *was* in fact dry), put a fresh one on him, wiped the urine off of his body with a warm washcloth and put another pyjama on him.

Of course, because his day started off badly, he was in a foul mood the whole day!  And so, I thought to myself ‘I’m so happy he was at daycare today’, when I went to pick him up.

#2.  The “I want to freeze to death” situation

It’s winter in Canada.  You know, 35cm of snow and -35C with windchill winter.  It’s a great season, I love it.  But, dressing a stubborn completely adorable baby in winter gear is the part I don’t particularly love.  When Little Dude sees me take out his coat and boots is laugh and play a game of catch-me-if-you-can.  Because, obviously, there’s no better game when I need to actually get out of the house and get to work.  Then, when I finally catch him, he gets into kicking-Banshee-ragdoll-worm mode.

Here’s how it goes:

Step 1 (rag doll mode): Get all limp when mom wants to put the coat on me.

Step 2 (Banshee mode):  Scream at the top of my lungs while mom gets the coat on me and zipped up.

Step 3 (worm mode): Start wiggling like a worm and attempt to turn on my tummy when I see the boots.

Step 4 (kicking mode):  Kick my legs wildly as mom tries to get my boots on.

Extra-credit step: If mom tries to stand me up to get my feet in my boots properly, revert to step 1.  If mom tries to put on my tuque before my coat, remove it by pulling on the velcro and revert to step 2.

He’s definitely got all of his bases covered…

#3.  The “I won’t take no for an answer” situation

“No” is a word I try to avoid using when interacting with my son.  I usually prefer to redirect his attention and then make use of positive reinforcement when my attempt to do so works.  Most times, though, he can see my attempt coming from a mile away.

I do however use the “n” word in certain situation that require me to act quickly.  Like that time where he wanted to help me with supper and tried to go check out the oven as I was taking out the piece of meat that had been cooking for the past half-hour.  Or the time where he thought it might be a good idea to put his hand in the toaster.  I think you get the picture…  The word also slips out once in a while (hey, what can I say, I’m not perfect! ;)).

My son has two reactions to the word “no”:

1.  He starts crying because he was frightened by the tone used.

2.  He starts whining and whining and whining (it actually sounds like some kind of siren and I have to supress a laugh each time he does it) because he didn’t get what he wanted.

Tough luck, Charles, tough luck.

#4.  The “I prefer wearing a full diaper thankyouverymuch” situation

This is in the same realm as situation 1.  My son does not like to get his diaper changed.  He wiggles and screams the whole way through usually, despite the fact that I try to distract him in a million possible ways.

It’s not that he doesn’t like to be in a clean diaper.  It’s that I need to interrupt his very important play session to do so.

He, of course, reminds me of this almost every time I change him.

#5.  The “I am looking at the tractor right now” situation

My son is in an in-home daycare with four 4 year olds.  Two boys and two girls.  One day, my son was standing and looking at the tractor out of the rather large living room window.  One of the boys, who adores Little Dude, decided to come stand next to him to watch the tractor too (because, y’know, Dudes like big trucks).

Then, it happened.

Mr. Hyde came out of my son.

Not content to share the view, my son decided to take matters into his own hands and yell at the little boy and push him.

Yeah, my then 11 month old son pushed a 4 year old.

*Facepalm*

Of course, the boy wasn’t hurt, merely surprised and the sitter had to suppress a laugh when she sat down in front of my son to tell him it was not ok to push…

#6.  The “This toys isn’t cooperating” situation

When Little Dude isn’t able to do what he wants to do, he throws mini-tantrums.  This usually happens when he’s trying to put some Duplo blocks together but has them facing the wrong way.  He’ll try for a bit and then let out an exasperated scream and throw his toys on the ground before going up to them, picking them up and trying again until it works.

The way I see it, this is akin to hitting a piece of electronic equipment when it doesn’t work.

#7.  The “I think you get the picture” situation… 😛

But seriously, things aren’t that bad.  Charles just has his…moments, moments during which I don’t know whether I should laugh, cry, pull out my hair or do all of the above.

The good thing is that is is definitely expressing himself.

What do you remember about the OMG ones?  What age have you found to be the hardest so far?

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Posted in Write for me Wednesday

Write For Me Wednesday: Breast Pump, How Much do I Hate Thee? (Jocelyn’s Guest Post)

I am really pleased to share a guest post from another amazing blogger today.  The oh-so-hilarious Jocelyn from The Home Tome has decided to share a post about pumping.  I am sure it will strike a chord with anyone who has done a significant (oh, and let’s be honest, a not-so-significant) amount of pumping to feed their little bundle of joy.  I am confident that you will enjoy her post and I strongly recommend stopping by her blog to read some more of the awesomeness she produces.

Cheers!

You know what I should be doing right now? Pumping. Instead, I’m eating lunch, doing laundry, and typing a few words here with re-runs of “Sex in the City” playing in the background. Today is my day off from work. If my baby naps for a while, I’ve got even bigger “me” plans from here: I’m going to pay some bills, attempt some yoga and possibly make some pumpkin soup from a new recipe I spied online (thereby re-acquainting myself with the kitchen, and reminding myself and my husband that I can still nourish humans bigger than two feet tall). This is all to say that pumping is not making the list. Nope. The pump is sitting less than two feet from me on the table, right there, taunting me, but I am not going to hook it up. No way.

I have been breastfeeding now for 10-plus months and pumping for about the same amount of time. I’m proud of the fact that I have breast fed my child: especially at the beginning, it was the most difficult, tiring and painful thing I have EVER done. I am also proud that I have kept up the breastfeeding longer than my original goal of six months even despite going back to work (part time) at six weeks. My new goal is 12 months, and I can even see myself extending it a bit longer beyond that. BUT mark my words, the day my son turns one years old, I am going to stop pumping.

Pumping has become my black cloud, my albatross. Though I have a decent pump – it gets the job done and it’s hands free – it’s still a time consuming and tedious process. You have to untangle it, hook it up, make sure you have on the right bra and the right shirt (or no shirt)…Make sure you time it so that you didn’t just breastfeed the baby and you aren’t about to breastfeed him…Don’t forget to lock your doors, and cover your windows (lest someone see you in this highly unattractive, super-unsexy state, straight out of a sci-fi horror film)… Also, don’t take or make any phonecalls, because the bowm-bowm-bowm droning sound will distract both you and the person on the other end. Afterwards, you have to clean all the parts and pieces thoroughly so they’re dry and ready to go when you need to do it all again in a few hours.

Unless I’m missing something (I have the Medela Freestyle hands free pump), it seems to me that pumping technology is pretty antiquated and downright lame. With all of our advances in medicine, science, engineering, etc, how is it that this is still so awkward and clunky? My wish for future breastfeeding mothers is that pumps can be built discreetly into shirts and women can pump silently while conducting board meetings and building bridges.

But I digress – the main upshot is that I’ve been procrastinating big-time. Avoiding the contraption all together. And the result? My reserves in the freezer are dwindling (I have only three servings at present, at one point I had about 20). My physical supply is starting to dry up. Sure, I am somewhat stressed about this but not so much that I can muster any motivation. I have only about a month and a half left and I’m trying to figure out how to get through it. How can I get “pumped”? Pun intended.

I’m not usually a vindictive person, but the only solution I can think of is to plot my revenge. So I am making a list of what I’m going to do with the pump when I’m finished with it. (Mind you, this is an inanimate object and a really annoying one, so please don’t judge me.) I think I might…

Drop kick it to the moon?

Pack it inside 14 boxes and banish it to the darkest corner of our spider-filled basement?

Bury it in a hole out back?

Climb to the top of nearby Hook Mountain and chuck it into the Hudson River?

Run over it on the driveway? Repeatedly?

Fire?

Hammer?

Maybe I’ll just tie it up with a nice red bow and present it to my worst enemy…

Ahhh. I feel better already. In fact, maybe I’ll just hook it up…and see if I can squeeze out a few ounces for the babysitter to use tomorrow…So much for all those other projects I wanted to tackle…Sigh.

 

Pump

How about you? How do you/did you get through the pumping?

Thanks again Jocelyn for agreeing to write a guest post for me :D!

If anyone else is interested in writing for me, please check out this post for more details.