This is it, D day is almost upon us. ‘Tis the season to be jolly. ‘Tis also the season to give out and receive holiday wishes of good health and whatnot. Looking back 365 days, I wasn’t very jolly. Last year, at this time, I was still living in my apartment, hated my job for the first time in my life, was trying to get back on my feet after back to back to back infections that contributed to me being on antibiotics for the whole darned month of December. But you know what the hardest part was? It was that despite all of our efforts in the year that had passed, my boyfriend and I still had not managed to conceive.
It got to a point where I started to question my capacity to have children. I was at a point where just seeing a pregnant woman – and believe me, I saw a lot seeing as I work in a school – made me want to curl into a ball and go cry in the corner of the room. It was at a point where each time my and my boyfriend’s parents made a half-joking, half-serious comment on the fact that they were ready to become grand-parents (we never told them we were trying to conceive – TTC – because we wanted to surprise them and did not want to deal with the expectant looks and the incessant inquiries into our progress) my brain kinda became numb and I tuned out.
It was hard because all we had to show despite the fact that we’d been TTC for a little over a year was a handful of negative pregnancy tests. Of course, it’s really hard to aptly time the sperm-ovule date when your cycles are so out of whack that you don’t know if your next ovulation will happen right after the last or if it’ll happen five months later. So, coming back to the Christmas theme of this post – as you can undoubtedly imagine, when I received holiday wishes of good health and everything else I desired for the coming year, my first reflex was to think “I just want to conceive” and my second thought was “I think I need to cry right now”.
After the Jolly Season, I decided to take matters into my own hands and invest into ovulation tests. Except the ones at the drugstore were waaay expensive and, for some reason, didn’t work for me (despite following all of the instructions down to a T, I could never get the control line to appear in the little window).
Frustrated, I then decided to take my search online and found a website that had everything a TTC couple needed for a very reasonable price. The best part? They shipped to Canada! The even better part? The test strips actually worked! The amazing part? We actually managed to conceive during my first round of using the strips! It would seem that my eggs are good and my boyfriend’s microscopic tadpoles can swim after all! You know what the funniest part is? Since I was doing the ovulation tests, I know exactly when my egg dropped. It just so happens that it happened the day we visited the house (we were so thrilled after the visit) we are now happily living in.
All this to say, for those of you who are TTC, may you be blessed with a child in the coming year. For those of you whose family is well under way or already made, may you be blessed with precious moments. For those of you who fit in neither category, may you be blessed with good health and happiness.