Posted in Parenting

Polar Bear Bellies

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I don’t know how things are at your house, but around here, Charles always seems to have his most important questions either when I’m on the toilet or driving.  A couple of days ago was no exception.

The conversation started out innocently enough.  Including Charles, there are five kids in his daycare.  He is the oldest and Amélie is the second youngest.  He was telling me that he was bigger than C, who is bigger than Amélie who is bigger than L who is bigger than A.  Now, given that I know that he likes his information to be precise, I decided to add that though his sister was bigger (taller) than L, she was younger than her (albeit only by a couple of months).

I.  Blew.  His.  Mind.

This brought upon a whole new realm of possibilities in his head.

“Is that true?!?”, he exclaimed.

“Yes”, I answered.

“Ok” [pause] “when will C (who is one year younger than he is) be older than me?”, he asked.

“She’ll never be older than you”, I replied.

Wait for it…

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“Why?” he asked.

Bam!

“Well, because when you a baby like Elliot, she was still in her mommy’s belly”, I explained.

Boom!  Mind blown.  Again.

“Mama polar bears can have babies in their bellies too, right?”, he checked

(because, of course, that was the only logical jump to make in the conversation)

“Yes”, I said

“And it’s just the woman polar bears who can have babies in their bellies, right?”, he questioned.

“Yup”, I answered

“And they need the dada polar bears to help them get a baby in their bellies, right?” he continued.

I wasn’t sure I liked where this conversation was going, but I answered anyways:

“Exactly”

“How did you and daddy make babies together?”, he asked.

“Well, um, we went in our room and closed the door”, I said, hoping it would be enough.

“Ok”, he said, apparently satisfied.

The Zootopia song Try Everything played in the background as he pondered what he had learned.  After a few minutes, he was ready to pursue his interrogation.

“How does the baby come out of the mommy’s belly?”, he wondered aloud

(Oh sh*t!)

“Well.  The baby grows inside an organ called the uterus.  When the baby is ready to come out, the uterus contracts and pushes the baby out”, I answered whilst crossing my fingers hoping he didn’t ask where the baby came out from.

He didn’t.

“Does it hurt?”, he asked instead

“Well, it doesn’t hurt the baby, but it can be a little painful for some mommies, sweetheart”, I replied.

“Ok”, he said, seemingly satisfied.

Woah!  These birds and the bees conversations are getting more and more intense each time we have them.  I can’t help but wonder when the next one will come up and which questions will be asked!

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Charles, master interrogator, comfortably seated in his favourite interrogation chamber.  Haha!

When did your kids start asking questions about pregnancy and birth?  How did you answer them?